One thing I have been worrying about since I found out I was pregnant was my age. I doubted instantly that I lacked life experience and that people would see me as another teen Mum; even though my teenage years are now far behind me. I became very worried that I had failed or was doing something wrong simply because I was younger than I had planned to be. I didn’t have a ‘proper’ career, money is tight and I don’t have my own home. I was focusing on everything I didn’t have rather than what I did have. My list of concerns made me negative towards the situation. Now I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I wish I had focused more on the miracle that I had made a little one. When you think about it…it is pretty amazing what a woman’s body can do.
It wasn’t until recently, when I started antenatal classes, that I realised how insignificant my age really is. Turning up at my first class with Joe, I have never felt so out of my comfort zone. Every other couple there was not only older than me but they were all married too. I instantly started worrying what they would think about me; would they take me seriously, would they judge me? I told myself that I knew nothing and they were going to be so much better parents than I ever would.
My god was I so wrong. Not only was everyone lovely and didn’t make age an issue at all, but it turns out I actually am far more ready for the challenge ahead than I thought. The fact that they were older, had more life experience, were married, had money and good careers actually meant nothing. We are all going to be first time parents and none of us know what we are doing. They are no better off from having all of these things than I am without. It has made me realise that it is normal to be worried or a bit panicked and I seem to be approaching D-Day with the right mindset of taking things as they come.
Age really is just a number and it doesn’t reflect me as a person at all. I was the only person thinking I was too young. I guess in my own head I still felt like a child, no one else actually saw me as that (apart from my Mum maybe, but I am always going to be her little girl aren’t I?) When it comes to having a child for the first time, no one knows what to expect. Having money or a nice house doesn’t mean anything when your baby won’t settle in the middle of the night. I just need to stop being so hard on myself and believe that I can do this. Nothing is holding me back apart from me!