I have been pretty rubbish on the posting front recently (you may be able to guess why) so I thought I would do a quick update on life over the last two weeks. How has that time gone by so quickly? I can’t believe that he is already two weeks. Time is flying and he is going to grow up so fast; he has already changed so much. He is starting to really develop his character and you can see his features developing right in front of your face. I wasn’t able to see resemblance to myself for ages but now I start to see tiny details of me in him. Including my chin… something I didn’t want him to have! Having a little one has really made me appreciate the small things in life and it has made me want to make the most out of every single day!
It’s scary how fast that first week went. You are on such an adrenaline rush. Ted’s first two nights were spent in hospital with me. After the birth they weren’t sure if I needed a blood transfusion or not so wanted to monitor me over the next few days. Luckily it wasn’t needed and we were released to the world. Ted’s first night wasn’t too great but that was expected. Going from the noise and blinding brightness of the hospital to quite and the glow of a few night lights at home must be strange. Since that night though, Ted has been good to us. I know that will all change soon enough but I am grateful he has eased us into this parenting malarkey. The rest of the week was filled with visits from Midwives and family. We went out in the car a few times to get him used to the car seat but we mainly took it easy and got to know our little man. Ted also had his first bath on the Wednesday which didn’t go down too well. He wasn’t the biggest fan of being in the water. Gramps helped us do the first bath as I was way too scared. Even though he was practically sat in a puddle, you never know what could happen!
In terms of myself…the first week wasn’t too bad pain wise. I did feel very tired though and seeing guests was an effort. All I wanted to do was sit and watch my baby boy; I didn’t want to entertain. I can’t blame people for wanting to visit, he is darn gorgeous, I just didn’t feel quite myself. I fear the pain from the surgery was masked by the high I was experiencing of having my little boy finally in my arms! I know I did way too much and didn’t rest as well as I should of so I’m now hoping I haven’t done any damage! It’s hard to rest when you have a little one who relies on you so much. All you want to do is look after them and instantly would do anything for them. I have also felt very up and down. Day 3 (a.k.a D-Day) was filled with tears of both the happy and sad sort. Didn’t help that I had one very abrupt Midwife visit who made me question how well I was doing. One thing I have learnt is to trust your own instinct as you know your baby best. Don’t let people tell you how to parent. Especially those who don’t even have kids!!
Ted’s second week on planet earth was a slight contrast to the first. This week has been full of family and friend visits, little trips out and some quality time as a three before Joe goes back to work. On Sunday we went to visit the spot where my Great Grandparents are scattered. As Ted was born on the anniversary of his Great Grandads death, I didn’t get chance to put flowers on his gravestone. Ted had his first lunch out and first trip to the park this week too. Was so nice to get out in the sunshine and spend some time together as a three. One lap of the park was enough for me but it was so nice to try and get moving and the fresh air did us all the world of good. Feeding has been a bit of an issue this week. At the ten day mark, Ted still hadn’t got back up to his birth weight so we are having to continue seeing the midwife until he does. He seemed to be wanting to constantly feed and didn’t seem quite himself during the middle of the week, so we have decided to top him up with formula milk. It’s not the ideal situation but we would much rather have a happy and healthy baby and so far he seems so much more content. With more formula milk comes Ted’s first projectile vomit. All over me! Thanks Ted. We registered Ted this week so he is now an official British Citizen. He is no longer known as Baby Fellowes and now known as Ted. This week has been very much full of firsts. In fact, as I’m writing this post, Ted is currently sat watching his first snowfall through my bedroom skylight. I didn’t quite expect snow in April so didn’t get Ted a proper winter jacket!
I have struggled with pain a lot more this week. Think it has finally hit me. My stitches are all healing well but the pain is more internal than it was before. Feels like everything is pulling back together. I have had to take things much slower as a result and have been resting up a lot more. I’m still very up and down too. One thing that has really helped me this week is being able to talk over the c-section with my Midwife and Health Visitor. I have been able to go through how I felt after Ted was born and get a clearer picture as to why things happened the way they did. That has helped me greatly and I feel far less teary about the event. I still get upset easily if I get stressed or worked up and I feel like I’m snapping or breaking down to Joe every now and then. I don’t mean to but I just find myself getting emotional. Joe has been great and so supportive and I’m very grateful for him putting up with me. Apparently it’s normal to be like this though so fingers crossed it goes soon! Other than that I’m enjoying being far more mobile and I feel more myself. I’m looking forward to getting out and about more and can’t wait to go on adventures with my little man!!
I just want to say again just how important it is to talk. If something is worrying you enough to make you feel down or on edge you need to speak to someone as it makes the world of difference. It has helped me so much to talk about how scared I was during that surgery. It was something that was really getting to me and I kept going over and over it in my head. I now feel so much better and that has all come from talking it over. It is so important to not bottle anything up!
Lots of love, Hattie x