This week I’ve had so many reminders of the changes we go through when we become a mum. I had an exciting meeting booked in down in London that required me leaving bubba for the whole day. Bear in mind that I usually work four hours away from him at a time and the rest I do whilst he is asleep, so this was a big ask.
The pre-baby me would of happily got up maybe an hour and a half before I had to leave, taken my time to get ready, have a beautiful outfit arranged nicely on the side waiting for me in the morning and would of happily hopped on the train, Starbucks in hand, ready for my day. What happened the morning of that day was literally the complete opposite.
The prep started the night before where I had to sterilise like a crazy person because you just never know tomorrow could be the day Ted gets ridiculously hungry and want a million bottles. Realistically he had the same amount of bottles that he always has and I didn’t need to lug the three bags of ‘stuff’ over to my mum’s.
That beautiful outfit arranged nicely on the side did not happen. I tried for weeks to work out what to wear but nothing is ‘me’ or looks right, mostly because of my Mum pouch that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. The ‘dressed-up-me’ rarely gets an airing and I’m really not sure what ‘she’ looks like anymore. Don’t even talk to me about shoes either. Thank you to the attack on my immune system from a lovely post c-section infection, my arthritis has majorly flared up and the word ‘cankles’ comes to mind. Not one pair of my shoes fit comfortably anymore apart from a pair of beat up Stan Smiths – hardly meeting attire! Not one. I can’t even wedge my foot in to them! Total ugly sister moment. Also the nice pamper sesh I had planned to get my nails done…didn’t happen. Hello naked nails!
Skip to the next morning then and let’s just say it’s not something I want to think about again. Despite the fact I got everything ready and just had to give Ted his breakfast and get him dressed, I have never ran around like a headless chicken as much before. I pretty much chucked Ted into my Mums (in his second outfit of the morning) with bag after bag of crap that he might of needed and made my train with two minutes to spare. Phew!
On my commute home, I reflect on the morning of craziness that still seems a bit blurred, and I’m grateful. Grateful that I’m blessed with a child who makes me want to be a better person and create a better world by teaching me every day what’s important in life: the clothes, the shoes, manicures and a morning PSL they’re all very nice to have… But what’s really important is how we feel on the inside and the people we love and care for. Getting on the train the morning, I was frustrated with how complicated life had become and was wishing for things to be a bit simpler. However, on that journey back home, none of that mattered. All I wanted was to see my little man. All the rushing, mess, rubber ducks in my designer handbag and lack of a decent wardrobe are worth it for him.
So I’m embracing the changes and all that motherhood is, after all, they’re the result of the best thing in the world coming into my life!