As I sit here listening to the soundtrack for what must be the millionth time, I think it is fair to say I have officially caught the La La Land bug! I’m obsessed. Not just because it’s an unbelievabley well scripted and shot film that happens to include a certain Ryan Gosling wearing the best suits and brogues (literal dream), but also because some of the messages in this film have come through at the exact point I needed them to! I’m not talking about reviving Jazz and returning it to it’s glory days, even though I will admit that after seeing it just once I suddenly find myself passionate about Jazz Music and have a sudden urge to start tap dancing or learn the piano. I’m talking about not giving up on the plan you have made for yourself – that ideal in your head that we all strive for. We all have that one thing that we want from our lives and it’s easy to admit defeat and leave that idea behind.
I have found myself in a bit of a rut lately. I love my new mother role and Ted is my world, but I can’t help missing parts of the old me. The part of me that spent hours wondering around exhibitions, discovering quirky, independent cafes and shops and the creative me. I miss being surrounded by great design. I know the older that Ted gets the more I will be able to get out and do these sort of things again and I can’t wait to share them with him and be creative together. I always dreamed of being a designer or running my own Insta-worthy, independent shop or both maybe. Yes, I am starting to get back into designing now and I am loving it, but part of me can’t forgive myself for letting my confidence hold me back and not go for it sooner. So in the spirit of January’s new beginnings, I am going to channel my inner Seb and Mia and I am going to work to make my dreams happen. I’m feeling confident for the first time in forever and I am motivated. I am going to go freelance and surround myself in creativity once more. I will provide a good future for Ted and I and make him proud of his mama. I might even invest in a pair of monochrome brogues to mark the occasion as I tap dance away to another day of sun!! Watch this space!